“My Steps Are Ordered”

Psalm 37:23
:  The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD, And He delights in his way.

What do you do when your whole life is turned upside down?  In a matter of a few hours, when everything you know is suddenly different, how do you begin to think about the future?

My son, Nate and me – January, 2012

That’s where I was on August 25, 2004.  It was a Monday and I came home

around 5:30 p.m. from work only to find my husband, Joel not feeling well.   By 8:30 p.m. we were on our way to the Emergency Room with an experience and that ended up lasting six years.

At first the doctors didn’t know why Joel was so sick.  He had an acute attack of pancreatitis.  Almost every doctor we encountered, which was many, asked if Joel was an alcoholic because 70% of pancreatitis patients are alcoholics.  The only problem with that assumption was that Joel had never tasted beer or liquor and only an ounce of wine.  He hated the idea of alcohol because of what it had done to his family.  They finally decided that he had a huge ulcer in front of his pancreas and because of its location, it was not seen on CT or MRI scans.

The next ten weeks were an exhausting whirlwind for Nate, my son who was 13 at the time and me.  I felt guilty if I was at work because I wasn’t at home with Nate or at the hospital with Joel.  I felt guilty if I was at home because I wasn’t at work or at the hospital.  I felt guilty if I was at the hospital because I wasn’t at home with Nate or at work.  If I could have multiplied myself at that time, it would have been amazing!  (However I don’t the world could have handled more than one of me!  LOL)

I am an “it is what it is” kind of girl.  Life deals us a hand, and it’s up to us to live that life in the way that would be pleasing to God; trusting that He is in control and knows everything that I am going through.  Holding on to that was the only way I got through that time in my life.

I remember one night in particular, when Nate asked me why God was doing this to us, and my response was that if God wasn’t with us, it would be so much worse.  That night we went to bed crying out the name of Jesus over and over and over.  It was the only thing we had in that moment.

The only thing I know today is that “my steps are ordered of the Lord” as it says in Psalm37:23.  And, I am stronger and happier than I have ever been.  As you follow this blog, you will learn God’s true sustaining power in the midst of traumatic times.  He truly will walk with you if you allow Him.  He wants the best for us and cares for us more than we can comprehend.

 

“You should write…”

 

 

Exodus 17:14
  After the victory, the LORD instructed Moses, “Write this down on a scroll as a permanent reminder, and read it aloud to Joshua: I will erase the memory of Amalek from under heaven.”

 

Just what you wanted, another blog to read!  LOL

There have been times in my life when I didn’t feel that I had anything to say that anyone would want to hear or read.  I was not always a confident person.  As a matter of fact, in high school, I did not come out of my shell until my senior year.

Over the past couple of years, several people have said, “You should write this ‘stuff’ down.”   And for quite a while I resisted.  Finally about two weeks ago, I felt like God was leading me to sit down and put some of my thoughts about my life and experiences on paper.  Hopefully someone will read it!

So, the purpose of this blog is to share my life experience and how God has brought me through so much, including divorce and the death of a spouse.  It may be that no one except my son reads it, but if he is the only one who does read it, then it will have been worth the effort.  By the way, my son, Nate, is the apple of my eye and I love him dearly!  He is the best combination of his dad and me, and I am the proudest mom a son could have.

This verse from Exodus 17 says, “After the victory, the Lord instructed Moses, Write this down on a scroll as a permanent reminder…”  That’s what I want to do.  I want to be reminded of the victories that I have received from the Lord.  He has brought me so much, and remembering them builds my faith.  Hopefully by you reading it, it will also build your faith and encourage you.

So thanks for reading, and please send me your comments.  Hopefully, you will laugh, cry, be encouraged, and be blessed!