Psalm 37:23 : The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD, And He delights in his way.
What do you do when your whole life is turned upside down? In a matter of a few hours, when everything you know is suddenly different, how do you begin to think about the future?
That’s where I was on August 25, 2004. It was a Monday and I came home
around 5:30 p.m. from work only to find my husband, Joel not feeling well. By 8:30 p.m. we were on our way to the Emergency Room with an experience and that ended up lasting six years.
At first the doctors didn’t know why Joel was so sick. He had an acute attack of pancreatitis. Almost every doctor we encountered, which was many, asked if Joel was an alcoholic because 70% of pancreatitis patients are alcoholics. The only problem with that assumption was that Joel had never tasted beer or liquor and only an ounce of wine. He hated the idea of alcohol because of what it had done to his family. They finally decided that he had a huge ulcer in front of his pancreas and because of its location, it was not seen on CT or MRI scans.
The next ten weeks were an exhausting whirlwind for Nate, my son who was 13 at the time and me. I felt guilty if I was at work because I wasn’t at home with Nate or at the hospital with Joel. I felt guilty if I was at home because I wasn’t at work or at the hospital. I felt guilty if I was at the hospital because I wasn’t at home with Nate or at work. If I could have multiplied myself at that time, it would have been amazing! (However I don’t the world could have handled more than one of me! LOL)
I am an “it is what it is” kind of girl. Life deals us a hand, and it’s up to us to live that life in the way that would be pleasing to God; trusting that He is in control and knows everything that I am going through. Holding on to that was the only way I got through that time in my life.
I remember one night in particular, when Nate asked me why God was doing this to us, and my response was that if God wasn’t with us, it would be so much worse. That night we went to bed crying out the name of Jesus over and over and over. It was the only thing we had in that moment.
The only thing I know today is that “my steps are ordered of the Lord” as it says in Psalm37:23. And, I am stronger and happier than I have ever been. As you follow this blog, you will learn God’s true sustaining power in the midst of traumatic times. He truly will walk with you if you allow Him. He wants the best for us and cares for us more than we can comprehend.